Back in the saddle...or not!

It'd be lovely to come in here and wax poetic on the beauties of New Orleans, and expound on how losing another 20lbs since I was last there helped me so much that I came back ready to hop back into my workout routine.  Then again, it would also be nice to be typing this while I sit on the porch at my island house, watching the tide come in, bringing me new shells and some fresh fish to catch for dinner.

Alas, neither of those going to happen.  Instead, I am typing this on a "cigarette" break at the office, wishing I had the energy to lift weights or even do some core work on the therapy ball.  Instead, I am praying that the hours pass quickly today so that I can get home at 7pm, get something to eat with the Artist, crawl into bed for Big Bang Theory, and lift the only weight of the day in the form of my covers over my head to pass out immediately after.  Instead, I am smiling at the sheer bliss of the past weekend in the Crescent City, while propping my leg up on my desk to reduce some of the swelling in my knee.

Choices and consequences, my friends.  Life is all about choice and consequences.

I am a huge, huge proponent of personal responsibility, as I have mentioned before.  I knew going in that this weekend would have a potentially profound physical impact on me, and I chose to do everything I did with that in mind.  I did wind up in quite a bit of pain, and generally ignored it and kept going.  Pain could be dealt with later, after all, but my time in the city was limited.  Taking pain killers was an option, but it needed to be balanced with whether or not I was imbibing as well.  Again, all about responsibility.

We got stuck in Atlanta on the way home, which led to coming off a cramped airplane and then hauling tail between terminals repeatedly to try to get on different flights.  Exhaustion, stress, fury, and pain spiraled into Very Bad Things, and by the time we got home at 3am, I was wrecked.  Work for the next two days was a physical nightmare, and then trying to catch up on things at home made it worse.  There was a modicum of disappointment in this, because I truly had hoped that losing the weight would help.  Less stress on the joints, after all, should equal less pain and inflammation, right?  The frustration wasn't so much in the pain itself, as that's an expected part of my life, but in the fact that I do try to do the Right Things to control it, and didn't get the desired result.  It was kind of like when I sat in the cardiologist's office and he told me that my losing weight was great, and my watching my diet was great, and he wasn't worried about any of that, but that I was still going on blood pressure medication because none of it would change things for me.

I do actually have a point to this, honest.

At the end of the day, that accountability lies squarely on our own shoulders when it comes to being proactive with our health and our bodies.  Disease and injury come from outside sources, but how you handle those things is your own choice.  But when the Right Choices don't necessarily work, a crossroads is met again.  It's at that point where you decide if you're going to live your life the way you want, or are you going to live your life the way the pain says you should.  There are no "right" answers to that question, and on any given day, the answer may change.

But my pledge to myself has always been, and will always be, that my life will be lived on my terms.

So with that, my friends, Laissez Les Bons Temps Rouler!

Obeying the Law

I'm sure everyone out there on the Internet is a cheerfully law abiding citizen.  What?  You're not?  You occasionally speed, or you might possibly have happened to inhale when your buddies (NOT you!) had that smidgen of ganja in college?  Hmm.  Well ok, maybe we can settle on "mostly law abiding."  We won't go any further than that, to protect the uh...innocent.

However, the law we need to discuss today applies more to those of us who have to be mindful of our activity levels, lest we pay for them in misery later.  I refer, of course, to Newton's Third Law of Motion:

"For every action, there is an equal, and opposite, reaction."

"Translation: Push, and something pushes back."

It's a pretty simple concept, really.  And while it has been tested and proven and retested and reproven in physics labs all over the world, anyone who has physical limitations and they will tell you that they do not need a lab.  All we need is our daily lives to show us that if we push, our bodies will, unequivocally, push back.  We know our limits, and yes, I'm talking to you too.  Don't look away, come back here and admit it.  You know your limits, but you don't always follow them, do you?  Exactly.  And neither do I.

My "official" limits, according to the Functional Capacity Evaluation are total restriction of things like kneeling and squatting, and that I can stand and/or walk up to ten minutes out of any given hour.  Ummmm...yeah.  The first part isn't too difficult to avoid.  The second?  Well, let's just say I break nearly every day of my life.  Don't get me wrong: I own this decision.  I blame no one for it, and I accept the consequences of my actions.  But man, oh man, it hurts when I do it.  

There are probably a zillion things every week that I do that I technically shouldn't.  However, there is a fine line, a balance of sorts that one must fine between pushing and pushing too far.  I do push a bit in order to try to keep the muscles that do work toned and strong.  This compensates for the others that don't.  I also do it to gain a little extra strength, in the hopes that some day it may work enough that I can adapt enough to walk on my own.  Hasn't happened yet, I know.  But never say never, right?  

And part of it definitely traces back to pride.  Yes, yes, I can hear it now: "Well duh, Mick, you know what goeth before a fall, and if you push too hard, you will fall."  Believe it or not, I'm not completely clueless here.  However, I have always been an active, physically strong person, and losing that aspect of my very self just isn't an acceptable option for me.  My lower body strength tanked so fast and so hard, and there is really no way for me to reclaim it as of yet.  My upper body, though, has to be strong on the days when I find myself in need of my crutches or wheelchair.  So I do a lot of core strengthening (not enough, though!), and I lift weights as well.  I love the feeling of my muscles working; it's a sensual experience knowing that at least parts of my body are toned and strong.  To me, strength is sexy.  I want that in myself as well.  I find that line, and I push to it with my upper body.

However, I am quite guilty of pushing too far on the lower body, and paying for it later.  Case in point: last year, my friend The Silent One and I went to New Orleans.  As shutterbugs, we spent from early morning til last in the evening eating, drinking (oh, the drinking!), exploring, and shooting all over the French Quarter.  We walked everywhere, scoffing at taxis, and forgetting about street cars until it was too late.  Adrenaline was my main drug of the weekend, feuling my ever present desire to get that next shot with her, see the next treasure of the Big Easy, or meet that next fascinating local personality.  By the time I got on the plane to go home, that adrenaline had started to fade, and I knew I was in for some major problems.  Anyone who has ridden on a plane knows how cramped it is, so when I stood up to change planes in Atlanta, I was nearly dropped from the sudden tidal wave of excruciating pain.  It took my breath away, and flooded my eyes at the same time.  I tend to wait until I'm nearly the last person off so as not to hold people up, but even still, my ability to walk was severely hindered.  I did it, made it home, and managed a snippet of second-wind adrenaline when I saw the kids.

The next morning, however, brought me right back where I had been the night before.  I was hitting the pain pills before I ever left the house that morning for work.  I scraped my way through work, came home, and was down for the rest of the night.  I paid for that excursion for about 4 or 5 days, but I said then, and I would say now, that in the grand scheme of my life, it was worth every second.

So now, I'm leaving on Friday morning for a long weekend.  Guess where I'm going?  And guess with whom I'm going?  Yup.  The Silent One and I, along with Lucille and Alejandro (our cameras), will be back in the French Quarter on Friday afternoon, shooting.  Our favorite Mardi Gras krewe has their parade on Saturday night, and we will be there.  It means standing outside for 2 hours ahead of time to get a good spot, and then dealing with being jostled and knocked during the parade from the crowd.  From there, we head to Bourbon Street to uh...enjoy the local night life.  We'll do all the same things plus some new ones this year.  We will pack as much fun as humanly possible into 4 days.

And then, on Monday night, I will fly home.

I do this knowing that the rest of next week will be sheer physical agony.  I do this knowing that I will need to use my crutches, take extra doses of my pills (yes, floater doses safely built into the regimen), and be nearly useless after work.  I do this knowing that there is the potential for damage if my knee cannot handle the pressure and I fall.  I do this knowing that there are people in my life who think I am a complete idiot for my choices, and who will roll their eyes and tell me that I am indeed, an idiot.

But the bottom line?

Is that I will Push.

Riding the stress train

For the past two weeks, things in my life have been really stressful.  Like most people, this can derail the best intentions for healthy living, whether it's giving in to the craving for rich, comfort foods, or being too worn out to exercise.  For someone with a disability, this can also mean an increase in pain levels as well.  It's at this time, though, when we really need to be the most careful, by making better choices in food, staving off an immune crash with vitamins if our diet is more off than we'd like, and at least attempting to do some gentle movement and stretching to decrease the pain.

In my particular case, I am not a stress eater.  In fact, quite the opposite.  But while this may appear at first to be a blessing instead of a curse, it does make my usual approach to food much more difficult.  Oftentimes, when stressed, I will have to contend with low level nausea at the mere idea of food.  This renders me unable to eat some of my usual high protein options, instead reaching for simple carbohydrates, which my stomach handles much better.  I do still try for the Greek yogurt in the morning, as I have several medications that I need to have on board every day.  But to take them requires food, so there you go.  Tea is another staple of my life, so I'm glad I'm able to still drink it without it making me sick!

So when stress hits, and we're off our feed, what is the answer?  Let's look at some potential options.

If stress eating is your bane, don't vilify yourself for wanting the comfort foods.  Deprivation just leads to binging, which is pointless sabotage.  Instead, try for some basic modifications to those foods to at least make them healthier.  Is mac and cheese your balm?  Add some broccoli and cauliflower to it, and maybe some ham for protein.  Or how about mashed potatoes smothered in gravy?  Make them with low sodium chicken broth; it'll have lower fat than cream, and more taste, too.  How 'bout that delicious wedge of chocolate cake?  Go ahead and indulge, but make it a slender slice, and top it with a few handfuls of fresh berries, which are packed with antioxidants and vitamin C. 

When stressful times hit, appropriate amounts of rest are vital to everyday functioning.  Don't skimp on sleep, even if it means bailing on some social outings.  If your sleep is interrupted due to the stress, do some creative image meditations, and at least rest your mind and body.  Melatonin can assist in restful nights, along with bedtime routines.  However, medical sleep aids should only be a last resort, and supervised by a physician.

Exercise is tough to do when stress rears its ugly head.  Extra fatigue and increased pain levels suck motivation faster than a Sham Wow on a water spill.  If the idea of heading off to the gym makes you want to crawl into a hole, skip it.  But don't let your body off the hook completely.  Go for a walk to clear your head, pop a favorite dvd into the player and do the treadmill/elliptical/bike.  Lift some weights, concentrating on pouring your stress into each rep.  Or turn on some guilty pleasure music and dance your uh...anatomy...off.  Not that I would ever even recognize the song, but um, let's just say I've heard that stuff like Rihanna's Pon de Replay can be catchy and boppy enough to get you moving.  You don't have to run a marathon or work out for several hours to be effective.  Just move.

Part of our stress can easily be attributed to feeling out of control of our situation.  In keeping control over our basic health, we remind ourselves that we do have the power to achieve our goals of better health.

Cheers!

Working it out

There is a very simple component to a healthy body that is so often overlooked, that many people don't even realize that it should be in their everyday routine.  That thing, my friends, is stretching.  Now, I'm not talking about doing Pilates and Yoga til you can apply to Cirqu du Soleil as a contortionist.  It doesn't need to be that strenuous or extreme.  But the benefits of stretching are numerous, and if you already have an issue with a joint of muscle, it's almost mandatory.

Tight joints and muscles are much more apt to be sore and painful, even before exercise.  Gentle stretching loosens up the fibers and allows for greater lubrication and blood flow, thereby reducing the risk of injury.  Remember to stretch slowly, though, and never bounce; this leads to muscle tears.  And for the love of Mick, please, please do NOT do that one stretch that used to be so popular among the runners I knew.  It involves sitting with one leg extended straight, and the other leg bent back such that the foot points away from the body, to the outside.  This stretch has been a staple for years, but it so, so bad for the knees.  My youngest, the Ambassador, is a soccer addict.  (Yeah, I said it.)  But any time he gets a coach who starts with this stretch, I  forbid him to do it.  His Osgood-Schlatters Syndrome aside, it's just dangerous for the knee joint in general.  If you have access to a trainer, or a physical therapist, I implore you to seek the counsel of a professional before really getting into any heavy stretching.  Don't risk an injury.  If not, your doctor can help, instead.  Don't make the mistake of blowing this off as something that's easy or unimportant.

Increasing flexibility also improves balance.  Now, not everyone who has a disability or limitation will have concurrent balance issues, but the vast majority will.  If you don't know the reason for this, Alvin and the Chipmunks will be happy to educate you on the topic!

It took me a while to learn this too, really.  But it's true that everything is truly connected.  My injury is in my right knee.  However, in addition to my balance, both of my hips and lower back are very much affected simply because I stand and walk differently than the human body was designed to move.  Same goes for someone with a shoulder injury; it will affect their arm, neck, and back as well.  It may not seem like that would impair balance, but trust me when I tell you, it does.

Stretching before exercise is a great warm-up for the body, but most people forget the fact that stretching after exercise is almost more important.  When we work out, muscle fibers break down and can tighten up.  Stretching gently loosens them up again, and helps the healing process improve.  It keeps the blood flowing through the joints, which prevents swelling and soreness from exacerbating. 

Even if you aren't sure what stretches are right for your body, here's one that almost everyone can do after a workout: Lie flat on the floor; doesn't matter if you're supine or prone.  Whichever is more comfortable is fine.  Try to reach your toes to the other side of the room, and your fingertips to the opposite wall.  Hold for ten seconds and relax.  Repeat two more times.  Obviously, unless you're in a really, really small room, this will not be possible.  But the light, all-over stretch will loosen the spine and the major joints, and feel really great.

We'll make ourselves into rubber bands in no time!

Pobody's Nerfect

I want to talk about a topic near and dear to my heart.  Food.  The bane of dieters' existence, the enemy of every scale, the villain in every triumphant weight loss story.  That's right, none other than that which we cannot live without, and don't want to live with...food.

When physical limitations come into play, reducing the number and restricting the type of exercise a person can do, the relationship with food can be even more strained.  The problem is the perception that food is the enemy.  This has never been less true than it is today.  The problem is not that we're eating, but we're eating the wrong things.  Being healthy has never been about keeping a strict diet of organic lettuce and water.  It's about making good choices, and doing your part to enhance the flavor of those choices.  And yes, the occasional indulgence in the molten lava cake with the liquid fudge center (*cough* just an example, of course...*cough*) is included in that.  No one makes the exact right food choices every single time; it's long past time to end the guilt ridden misery that comes from making the occasional unhealthy choice in our diets.  If we focus on improving the overall picture of our nutrition, the little indulgences won't affect it.

There is absolutely an emotional component to the food choices we make, and we can learn to steer those emotions as well.  If it's been a crappy day, and your emotional response is to reach for a brownie sundae, just stop.  First, drink a glass of water.  Then have a healthier option, with a piece of dark chocolate after.  Savor it, enjoy it, revel in its richness.  Your body gets the benefits of the nutrition, and your brain gets to have the indulgence as its end note.  This takes some time before it becomes a habit, but it is absolutely doable.  And the more this becomes a habit, the less guilt you'll have on those occasions when you make that conscious choice and eat a whole piece of cake.

There are no easy answers to the "perfect" diet.  There's one based on blood type, low carb, no carb, low glycemic, high protein, high fiber, low cal, whatever.  What it all boils down to is simple math.  Calories in need to be less than calories out in order to lose weight.  But how you get there is almost as important.  After all, eating 1800 calories of chips, pizza and soda will have a much different effect on the body than the same amount of calories consisting of lean protein, fresh fruits and veggies, and complex carbs.  If you aren't sure how good something is for you, read the label.  No label?  Google it.  None of this is rocket science, people.

Learning some very basic cooking skills is a fantastic way to enhance your nutritional profile.  Experiment with spices, textures, methods of cooking.  A pork chop, pan fried to a nice shoe leather consistency, for example, is a completely different meal than a succulent pork chop brushed with an apricot ginger glaze and grilled.  (Apologies to my mother in law!)  Instead of complaining about the fact that your whiny, picky eater self just can't eat healthy, try actually being proactive and responsible first.  You don't have to be a student at the Culinary Institute of America to make a delicious, healthy meal.

First and foremost, food is fuel.  But as humans, we do get profound sensory delight from it.  There is no reason not to relish the tastes and textures on our plate, as well as a beautiful presentation.  It takes almost no time or effort to plate a meal in an attractive manner, but when do we take the time?  We're in such a rush for that instant gratification that we fail to make even the smallest gestures.  Slow down.  Enjoy each bite.  Feel the textures, consider the taste.  What spices or flavors can you pick out on your tongue?  Do you recognize the ingredients?

In order to improve our relationship with our food, we will need to put in some time, some effort, and a whole lot of love.  I'd love to hear from others on what meals they like to prepare and the amazing feedback they get.

STOP! Lesson time!

Ladies and gentlemen of general society, please have a seat at your desks.  School is in session.

For a person with limitations on what can be done in the physical world, it's very easy to have opinions and perceptions written in black Sharpie before you're even introduced to the person who's making them.  Many people have "blind" limitations -- meaning that their shoulder, for example, may not move like an unimpeded person's shoulder moves, but they don't wear a sling or adaptive device.  People don't realize there's an issue unless they're either told, or the person makes an adaptive motion such as switching a burden to the other side.  For me, though, the black brace and the cane are like my own personal neon sign screaming "OMG! DISABLED PERSON ON THE LOOSE!" to everyone who crosses my path.  As someone who prefers to not be in the spotlight, I'm sure you can imagine how happy this makes me.

One of the most common assumptions is that I'm incapable of opening doors.  If I get to a door with someone behind me, I tend to hold the door for the person.  What can I say?  My parents raised me to be polite.  The usual response that I get is something like, "Oh gosh, I should be holding the door for you!"  Now, I realize that the person is just trying to be nice.  But I promise you, that while my knee is a mess, my arms are both quite solid. I honestly can manage to open a door, and with either one!

The really nice check-out staff at my favorite grocery store has been "trained" for lack of a better word, to know that I am most likely going to refuse help out with my groceries.  This has nothing to do with foolish pride: the fact is that I lean on the cart when I walk, and it takes some pressure off of my leg.  It also provides a little extra stability as I go down the ramps to the parking lot.  So no, thank you; unless I have more than one cart worth of stuff, in which case I will generally bring a kid, I do not want you to take my grocery cart for me.  They still offer with a smile, and I refuse with a smile.  But they don't push the issue, for which I am eternally grateful.  I have actually had a person pull my cart away from me, telling me that he will be helping me with my groceries.  After I recovered my balance from having it disrupted, a brief, quiet conversation with his manager proved him wrong.

Yesterday, I executed a surprise for my kids: a day trip to the mountains to go snow tubing.  I grew up in the Northeast, where I went sledding every possible moment during the winter, usually down a stupidly dangerous track in the woods.  The idea for the trip started here.  And I knew full well when I showed up, that the automatic assumption would be that I was a spectator, not a participant.  The harried girl behind the tall counter didn't see anything from the chest down, so there wasn't even a blink when I paid for 5 tickets.  But I saw her eyes go as wide as saucers when she saw me laughing with my family as we headed out the door of the lodge to get our tubes, bright orange tags on our jacket zippers.  I grabbed my tube and went to the conveyor belt with my kids and headed up to the top.  The attendant gave me a glance, but didn't say anything.  I got some startled looks from people as I chose a tubing lane, but when I shoved off and flipped into the tube, holding my cane under one arm, that's when people's jaws started to hit the snow.  For the rest of the day, people on the conveyor belt heading up the side would point and stare when I'd go flying by on a tube.  My own kids didn't even blink at the idea that I would be sliding with them, as this wasn't anything that could really endanger me.  But to everyone else, I was an anomaly at which they were astounded.

Throughout the day, I ignored people who looked at me like I was a circus attraction.  I did respond politely to those who ventured to speak to me. After all, they were just asking a question, which I respect a whole lot more than a perceived assumption.  But it really led me to realize just how much society assumes about a person when they have a visible limitation.  Now, the one attendant at the top, when I flopped into the tube a little early, howled with laughter when he saw me use my cane to give myself an extra push.  He yelled, "Use it like an oar!"  I loved that.  Another attendant, saw me come by again chuckled and said, "You're better at this than half the able bodied people!"  I just laughed and said, "Hey, you manage your disability or it manages you.  Mine will never manage me!" as I slid off down the hill.

We may never be able to change the way people think when they see a disabled person on the street; to make them realize that we have a disability, as opposed to being a disability.  But we can definitely drop some of our own fears, and embrace our own sense of adventure and fun.  We can show by our actions that we are not delicate little orchids to be kept on a shelf in a hot house when the world is happening outside.  We need to be the ones who live our lives, find ways to adapt when we can and still do the things we want to do.

Only then, will the stares of incredulity dissipate like our breath in the snow.

Deprived? Hmm. Maybe not...

When the topic of exercising with physical limitations comes up in conversation, it's often met with a flippant response of, "Whatever.  Just swim instead."  Well, sure!  I'll just come home from work, make dinner, and hop right into my indoor, heated lap pool that I had installed last month.  Oh wait...

There are hundreds of "guaranteed weight loss" machines out there, just waiting for the desperate people, hoping to lose some of their fluffiness with the very least amount of effort.  Problem is...most of these are absolutely not possible for people with orthopaedic impairments.  This constant barrage of "it's so easy!" being met with, "yeah, but I can't use it" can get old very fast, creating a huge level of frustration.

To try to alleviate some of that frustration, and help my fellow Adapters to realize that we don't have it quite as bad as we thought, I offer up the following examples of exercise equipment that we cannot use:

First up, I give you the i-rider horseback riding machine.  (Just gonna take a second and let that name sink in...)  You can ride your way to a stronger core, and um...well....maybe give yourself a nice ride while you're at it!  With the instability in my leg, along with the lack of strength, there is no way I could handle this.  And somehow, I'm glad!  Want to see a video of this little beauty?  Oh yeah, baby.  You know you do!

*cough*

Ok, moving on.  Here's another gem of a machine that has all the ladies lining up.  It's called the Ab Circle.  this little wonder has you on your knees, leaning over, and either swinging your bottom half back and forth like a cat in heat, or opening and closing your legs like a...well, I won't finish that one.  Instead, I'll just let you see for yourself:

Don't bother with the whole thing.  Just watch the snippet starting at 1:20.  It'll be enough.  Every man wants to buy one of these for his woman, but gentlemen, please take my advice and don't do it.

And of course, we always play fair at the Imperfectionist.  Men have their "special" equipment too!  From the time they are adolescents, boys need a way to strengthen their arm muscles.  Poor little scrawny boys get picked on!  Let's help them be the hot, buff Adonises that they want to be.  Get every boy their very own Shake Weight!

So you see, you don't necessarily have to feel left out of the mainstream, simply because your body won't allow you to use popular exercise equipment.  Sometimes all you need is a partner!